


Lonely at Best

by Redjay27



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Canon Compliant (for the most part), Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, M/M, based off the song Kissaphobic by Makeout Monday, it's simply based on the song, klangst, rated for language and a hint of underage drinking, set at the beginning of season 4, this IS NOT a song-fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-21
Updated: 2018-02-21
Packaged: 2019-03-22 07:01:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13758771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Redjay27/pseuds/Redjay27
Summary: "As the song came to a close, Lance stopped them but continued to hold onto Keith. Lance could feel the warmth radiating from Keith. He hadn’t realized that they had moved closer together during the duration of their dance. Their faces were close, only inches apart. Lance could feel something grip his insides, the moment he had wanted for so long only seconds away. He could feel Keith’s breath ghost across his face as he leaned down towards him, breathing in his sweet scent and committing it to memory. "OR Lance and Keith are working through their feelings for each other while simultaneously dealing with the duties of saving the universe.Based on the song Kissapohobic by Make Out Monday





	Lonely at Best

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and welcome!  
> Just a few things you should be aware of before you start reading:  
> 1) As you probably know, this is based on the song Kissaphobic by Make Out Monday. I would recommend popping over to youtube real quick and giving it a listen if you haven't heard it yet. That being said, it isn't necessary to know the song to understand this fic. It, in my opinion, would simply give the writing a little more meaning.  
> 2) This is set at the beginning of season 4 meaning that it's around the time that Keith is trying to decide if he should stick with the team or join the Blade.  
> And with that, I sincerely hope you enjoy.

He was unhealthy. He was a disease, an incurable sickness. He was a fever, making Lance’s body heat up involuntarily while simultaneously shaking from the chill that settled into his bones. He was a sore throat, stealing away Lance’s breath, locking up the words that he desperately wanted to say. He was a stomach ache, stirring up feelings Lance had no name for inside him. Feelings that beat against the walls of his stomach, threatening at any moment to break free.

 

He was a cancer, unstoppable and draining, multiplying within him at an unbearable rate.  

 

Lance had known for some time that this attraction was unhealthy, that it would cause nothing but pain and heartache. But he also knew that no matter what he tried, whether that be burying himself in training or distracting himself with friends, he couldn’t shake this particular illness.

He tried to tell himself that nothing good could come of this attraction. He knew all too well how something like this would end. He could almost feel it now: the rejection, the abandonment, the loneliness. No, Lance didn’t want to experience those things if he didn’t have to.

 

So he avoided Keith, pushed him away as best he could. Just like he had been doing for years. Ever since he had felt those first budding feelings back at the garrison. At first he had been confused, not sure what to make of the churning in his stomach and pounding of his heart. But after some serious soul-searching, Lance had come to the harsh conclusion that the quiet, broody, unapproachable boy with the silky black hair and deep indigo eyes had somehow wormed his way into Lance’s heart.

 

And that had pissed Lance off.

 

How had Keith, who was basically superior to Lance in every way already, managed to beat him at himself? It didn’t make sense. No, Lance had to put a stop to it. He simply refused to accept these feelings.

 

That’s when the rivalry started. It was less of Lance trying to be better than Keith and more of a desperate attempt to rid himself of his own feelings. Lance wouldn’t say it worked, but it did provide a suitable enough distraction. That was going to have to be enough.

 

When Keith was kicked from the garrison, Lance had felt the weight lift from his shoulders. He no longer had to tiptoe around Keith because he was gone. Lance could relax and just enjoy his time at the garrison. He didn’t have to think about Keith ever again.

 

Yeah, that didn’t last long.

 

When Keith had shown up to rescue Shiro, Lance felt like he had been hit by a bus. He should’ve known it was too much to ask for. Life was never _that_ kind. And it worked out just as Lance had expected. Seeing Keith’s face again, the impulsive teen somewhat older looking but still just as Keith as he ever was, left Lance a little worse for wear. And it didn’t help that Keith had the _audacity_ to not remember him. He didn’t have to like Lance - Lance did a good job of making sure he didn’t in fact - but the least he could do was recognize him. Lance would never admit it out loud, but that hurt more than he could have ever imagined.

 

But after that, to Lance’s disbelief, things had started to get easier. He found that even though Keith was literally always around, the duties of being a paladin frequently dominated his thoughts. Maybe he was just caught up in the rush of being part of an elite team or maybe he had just gotten really good at suppressing his feelings, but regardless of the reason, Lance felt like he wasn’t trapped in his own heart for the first time in forever. Sure, he and Keith still didn’t necessarily get along, but at least they could stand to be in the same room as each other without starting a fight.

 

And then Shiro disappeared.

 

And suddenly everything that had seemed easy, everything that was now natural for Lance, was oh so complicated. He watched as his team broke down right before his eyes, Keith included. He watched the internal battle of trying to move forward while constantly being held back by their lost team member unfold within Keith and there was nothing he could do.

 

He knew what he _wanted_ to do. He wanted to reach out to him, to tell him that they would find Shiro and everything would go back to the way it was before. He wanted to stay up late with Keith, searching the stars for their lost friend. He wanted to quiet the turmoil that was ever-present on Keith’s face, an expression of somberness mixed with determination.  He wanted to do all of those things and so much more, but he did nothing.

 

He knew where that would lead and it was a dangerous place for Lance to venture to. It would open the floodgates again, something Lance had kept closed for far too long to give up on now. He knew that one step in Keith’s direction was one step towards the pain that he had so skillfully avoided. No matter how much he wanted to help, he knew that in the end, things would just be so much worse for him.

 

Lance simply couldn’t risk it.

 

It was during that time that Lance found the room. Lance had more frequently needed to get away from the busyness of the better used parts of the castle. So, in his spare time he had explored the areas of the castle that he wasn’t familiar with. In one particularly quiet section of the castle, Lance stumbled on a room that he quickly named The Culture Room. It wasn’t a very large room, but the ceilings were high, giving sound a chance to bounce around before finally dissipating into nothingness.

 

There were various display cases in the room, each housing some odd Altean trinket or some technological looking device. Lance had no names for the objects, the name plates on the display cases being entirely in Altean, but he enjoyed looking at them nonetheless. The Culture Room had a museum-esque feeling to it that gave Lance a sense of calm.

 

On his first visit to the room, he had noticed what looked like an Altean version of an acoustic guitar. It was more ornate than the guitars Lance had back on Earth, and it had two more strings than Lance was used to, but regardless it reminded him of the miniature concerts he would put on for his family. He remembered the slightly off-key voices of his nieces and nephews as they sang along to their favorite songs and the way his older siblings would slightly sway to the music as they listened.  

 

The first few times Lance visited the room, he only stared at the guitar, not daring to touch the beautiful instrument. But Lance soon found that his fingers would start twitching, yearning to strum the strings, and it wasn’t long before he had taken the instrument out of its case, situating himself on one of the small stools in the room.

 

He took a deep breath, and then gently ran his fingers over the strings. Lance wasn’t sure what kind of sound he was expecting but he definitely was _not_ expecting it to sound like he had just run over a cat. He found his face scrunching up at the cacophonous sound. When the sound had dissipated, Lance shook his head and let out a little chuckle.

 

“Probably should’ve tuned you first…” He muttered to himself. He didn’t actually know how to tune this instrument, but there were tuning pegs so how hard could it be? Lance had been a pro at tuning his own guitars. He could figure out how to tune this one too, no problem.

 

Turns out it was a problem. It was like the instrument had no concept of sharp or flat, the notes just _were_ . One tiny adjustment and an okay sounding C would turn into a perfect G. Trying to comprehend the note progression of this instrument was driving Lance insane. How the Alteans even made an instrument like this boggled his mind. He almost gave up, the instrument not worth all of his irritation, but that soon turned into motivation. This instrument was gonna tune and it was gonna _like it_!

 

An hour later Lance held his breath as he strummed the instrument, praying to whoever was looking out for him that his efforts had not been in vain.

 

Lance had never heard a sound like it. The sound was gentler than a normal guitar. It was as if someone had taken harp strings and put them on a guitar. The soft sound filled up the room, sending a shiver down his spine. It was almost a haunting sound, but to Lance it sounded more melancholy than anything. It tugged at his heart strings, pulling forth emotions that he had buried deep.

 

It was from that day forth that Lance had started to run away to The Culture Room whenever things got too hard for him to deal with. He would pull out the guitar and play for hours, coming up with new melodies to fit the somber instrument. Sometimes he’d put words to his melodies, all of them slower, sadder songs. It was Lance’s favorite pastime, something that allowed him to be alone with his thoughts. His music was just for him and no one else.

 

\-----

 

The first time Keith heard the music softly drifting down the halls of the castle was right after Shiro’s return. The sound was captivating, compelling Keith to find its source.

 

He had ventured to the lesser used part of the castle to clear his head. He was relieved that Shiro was alive and safe, don’t get him wrong, but his return posed questions that Keith didn’t yet have answers to. Questions like where did he go from here? He had two options in front of him, stay with team Voltron or join the Blade. He wanted to stay with the team. They were like his family. But he also knew that others would suffer if he stayed, particularly Lance. Keith was well aware of the fact that Lance would be the first to give up a lion and Keith didn’t want that. Lance couldn’t see how vital to the team he was. He didn’t realise how much everyone needed him, how much Keith needed him.

 

Lance had been a constant in Keith’s life when everything else around him was changing. Even during his garrison days, he could always count on Lance to be there with an insult and a challenge. It was refreshing to have something he could count on. Lately, Lance had been a pillar of consistency to Keith. Without him, Keith would have spiraled far worse than he had when Shiro first disappeared. The two started to even get along better, Keith finding that having Lance’s support was far better than he could have imagine. It wasn’t long before Keith started to notice when Lance wasn’t there. He started to noticed the way he felt when Lance wasn’t there.

 

Empty, incomplete, like something was missing.

 

It didn’t take Keith long to dissect those feelings. He knew he was oblivious about a lot of things, but when it came to Lance, things just always seemed to make sense. He knew that a certain... _attraction_ towards Lance had grown within him. No, it was more like it was always there. It was just the first time that Keith had decided to accept those feelings.

 

He knew that leaving to join the Blade was the right decision, but it certainly wasn’t what he wanted to do. This indecision was what brought him to this part of the castle. Usually he would use the training deck to help him sort through his thoughts, but he knew that’s where people would look for him and he desperately wanted to be alone.  

 

He never would’ve thought that he would stumbled upon something so beautiful. Keith followed the soft melody down the hall, curious to know who could make an instrument embody such raw emotion. It was unlike anything he had heard back on Earth. As he drew closer to the source, he could hear a quiet voice singing along with the instrument, the rich tenor complimenting the instrument in an almost heartbreaking way.

 

When Keith found the door to the room the singer was in, he hesitated. He knew who was on the other side of the door. He recognized Lance’s voice, although he had never heard it quite like this. Keith was afraid that if he suddenly barged in that Lance would stop and he really wanted to keep listening. There was something soothing about the way Lance sang, how the words seemed to flow from one to the next. There was no trace of the usual, goofy Lance in his voice, yet the presentation of the lyrics were so inherently _Lance._  

 

Keith let out a small sigh and then pressed his back against the wall next to the door, sliding down until he was seated on the floor, his legs spread out in front of him. He leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes. What Lance didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him. Keith had a lot of decisions to make, but for right now, he allowed himself to get lost in the slow cadence of Lance’s voice, the music drifting over him and quieting his mind.

 

Keith found himself drawn back to that spot on multiple occasion. Whenever he saw Lance slip away, Keith would do the same. Lance’s voice soon became an addiction, something to anchor Keith as he dealt with Shiro’s recovery, leading team Voltron, and training with the Blade.

 

He knew how the others saw him. He knew they were disappointed that he’d been spending so much time away from the team. He could tell by the way they looked at him. The worst was Lance. His looks held a deep sadness, a longing that Keith couldn’t quite place.

 

Keith had been careful to not let Lance catch onto the fact that he listened to his playing. He had a feeling that if Lance knew, things would change. The music would change, become less real and Keith didn’t want that. When Lance sang, he poured all of his emotions into the words. Each note struck something within Keith, something that kept Keith coming back for more.

 

Keith noticed that the songs changed depending on Lance’s mood. If he was feeling homesick he would sing of vast oceans and yellow shores. He would sing of the long lost sun and the warmth of a family. When he was feeling insecure, he would sing of battles won and foes long since vanquished. And when he was feeling lonely, he would sing of a heartache so pure that Keith had to believe that it was real.

 

Those were Keith’s favorite, having his own heartache to deal with. Those songs wrenched his heart and stirred feelings that Keith had no way of dealing with. He did find some comfort, however, in the fact that Lance was going through the same thing. It was the one light in Keith’s otherwise hopeless situation.

 

\----

 

“Alright paladins!” Allura said, clapping her hands together. “You’ve all been working really hard lately fighting the Galra.”

 

The whole team was gathered in the lounge after a long day of training. It had only been a few days ago that Shiro had started piloting the black lion again but since then the spirit of the team had seemed to pick up, Lance’s included.

 

He finally felt like the team could go back to its old self, or at least come close. There was still a lot of little things that needed to be worked out, but things were starting to look up.  Even Keith was here at the moment and that was rare. He’d been spending more and more time with the Blade lately, and Lance was worried that he was going to leave the team for good. But he was here now and that’s all that mattered.

 

Lance still had no idea how to deal with his feelings towards Keith, but he found that his almost daily escape to The Culture Room had helped him relax a little. He found the strange guitar soothing to play, the sound it produced had ways of settling the storm inside him that no other instrument ever had. The best part was that no one else knew about it. It was something that he could keep all to himself. It was an outlet that he desperately needed when things became too muddled within him.

 

For the first time in a long time, Lance felt like he was controlling his emotions instead of his emotions controlling him.

 

“Unraveling ten thousand years of Galra oppression hasn’t been easy.” Shiro said.

 

“Exactly!” Allura said with a nod of her head. “Which is why I think we’ve all earned a break.”

 

“Hell yeah! It’s about time!” Lance said, perking up at the idea of finally getting the day off. He couldn’t remember the last time he got to sleep in past seven.

 

“That’s the spirit!” Coran said, his own expression mirroring Lance’s.

 

“Hold on, hold on.” Pidge said, narrowing their eyes at Allura. “Last time you said we could have the day off we ended up spending the whole day cleaning our lions. Your definition of a day off is skewed.”

 

Allura smiled at Pidge and shook her head. “I promise there is no lion cleaning involved.”

 

“So, what _is_ involved?” Hunk asked.

 

Allura clasped her hands together in excitement and said, “A ball!”

 

Lance joined in as a groan spread around the room. “That’s just a fancy way of saying we’re going on a diplomatic mission.” Lance said, a whine in his voice.

 

“Oh, c’mon.” Allura said, clicking her tongue at them in disapproval. “It’ll be fun!”

 

“Being stuck in a hot room surrounded by a bunch of people I don’t know? Yeah, that’s not fun. That’s social torture.” Pidge deadpanned.

 

“Let’s at least hear what kind of ball this is before we start complaining.” Shiro said, his tone leaving no room for argument.

 

“Thank you, Shiro.” Allura said, shooting him a grateful look. “We’ve received an invitation from the Kumar.”

 

“Kumar?” Hunk asked.

 

Allura nodded. “They’re a rather...shall we say, selective people. To receive an invitation from them is considered a very high honor. They’ve invited us to their bideca-phoebual lunar celebration. It’s their most important holiday.”

 

“So what you’re saying,” Hunk said slowly. “Is that we’re going because if we don’t they’ll consider it an insult on their people and will probably never speak to us ever again?”

 

“Precisely!” Allura said with a cheerful smile.

 

“Oh, that’s perfect!” Pidge said, a mocking undertone to their voice. “If we don’t go we’ll never get invited to their stupid ball ever again!”

 

“Pidge.” Shiro said in a disapproving tone. Pidge only let out a little scoff in return.

 

Lance saw Hunk shrug and say, “I’m in.”

 

“What?!” Pidge said, looking betrayed.

 

“It’s a ball, Pidge. There’s bound to be some good food there. We’ve only had food goo for the last two weeks. I need some real food soon or I’m going to go crazy.”

 

Pidge turned to Lance, a steely look on their face. “Lance? Please tell me you’re not on board with this.”

 

Lance gave his small friend a sheepish smile. “Sorry, but I gotta side with Hunk here. Getting off this castle sounds pretty appealing right now…”

 

Pidge looked desperate as they turned to Keith who had been strangely quiet for the whole exchange. “Keith?”

 

Keith shrugged. “An ally is an ally. If this is how we get them to join the coalition, then I say why not?”

 

Pidge let their shoulders sag in defeat. “You’re all traitors. Every last one of you…” They sighed dramatically. “Fine! But I’m not gonna enjoy it.”

 

“Fantastic!” Allura said. “The ball is to be held tomorrow night so rest up and spend tomorrow preparing. Oh! And the Kumar are very elegant people so your normal armor won’t be suitable. I’ve already placed the proper garb in your rooms. If anything doesn’t fit, Coran will make adjustments for you tomorrow. You’re all dismissed.”

 

The group dispersed, each person heading off to do their own thing for the night. Lance had to admit that he was more excited than he should be for the ball. Sure, he had been on many diplomatic missions at this point, lots of them with parties afterwards, but never anything as sophisticated as a ball. It was something new, something exciting.

 

Lance’s feet automatically took him to The Culture Room, his mind elsewhere. Spending the evening lost in music seemed like the perfect way to expend some of the restlessness he was feeling.

 

\-----

 

“When Allura said elegant...this was not what I was expecting.” Lance said, standing in front of the large mirror in Allura’s room the next day. He had his arms spread wide for Coran who was working on the tailcoat he was sporting.

 

“Well, what were you expecting?” Coran asked.

 

“I dunno...something less...Earthy?” Lance replied, staring at his reflection. He had been surprised to find a tuxedo waiting for him in his closet when he had returned to his room the previous evening. The tailcoat, shoes, and pants were jet black, a strip of black satin going down the outside of either leg. It came with a white button-up shirt, a dark blue satin vest, and a bow tie of the same color.

 

“Allura thought you might like something a little more familiar. She spent quite a while figuring out how to get these made.” Coran replied, standing up and smoothing out the fabric on Lance’s shoulders.

 

“Coran, I lived on Earth for seventeen years and I never even met a person who wore one of these.” Lance said in seriousness.

 

“Really? But all of our research said these were the height of elegance.”

 

Lance let out a laugh. “I guess you’re not wrong. Let’s just say my...economical standing didn’t allow me to own anything like this.”

 

Coran nodded his head in understanding although Lance wasn’t quite sure he actually understood. “I think you’re all done.”

 

Lance put his arms down, still looking at his reflection. “Gotta say, I look good...but then again, I look good all the time.” Lance shot one of his classic charming smiles at his reflection.

 

Coran seemed unphased by Lance’s antics. “The others are waiting for us on the bridge. You go ahead. I still need to change. Let them know I’ll be there in a tick.”

 

Stealing one more look at himself, Lance said goodbye and left the room. Lance was feeling elated as he made his way to the bridge. There was something about looking classy that just filled him with confidence. He didn’t know exactly what to expect at this ball, but he was determined to have a good time.

 

As he arrived on the bridge, he immediately noticed the rest of the team decked out in the same tuxedo as he was, the only difference being in the color of the vests and bow ties. Hunk in rich yellow and Pidge in forest green stood near the green chair. Hunk was leaning over to adjust a peeved-looking Pidge’s bow tie. Allura stood in the center of the room in a sparkly pink gown that only covered one shoulder. The gown spilled onto the floor slightly, the shine of the dress causing tiny shards of light to dance on the many consoles surrounding her. Her hair had been tamed, the white strands french braided and then twisted into a bun that sat just above her left shoulder. Lance wondered if she had done that herself or if Coran had some magical hair powers. Shiro stood next to her, conversing quietly. Lance had to admit that he looked the most comfortable in his tuxedo, the royal purple of his vest and bow tie complimenting the white in his hair.

 

Lance shifted his eyes to the far side of the room where Keith stood leaning against the consol by the red chair. Lance tried to ignore the butterflies that seemed to come alive in his stomach. He had always known that red suited Keith. It matched the fireyness of his personality, burning anyone who got too close. This time was no different. As uncomfortable as he looked, the dark red set him apart from the others, contrasting perfectly with his indigo eyes.

 

Keith must’ve felt Lance’s eyes on him, his gaze meeting Lance’s. Lance felt his face grow red, embarrassed at having been caught staring, and quickly looked away, deciding that now would be a perfect time to see what Pidge and Hunk were up to.

 

“Oh, lookin’ good, Lance.” Hunk said, shooting his friend a thumbs up as he approached the two.  

 

“Not so bad, yourself.” Lance replied with a smile. “You too, Pidge.”

 

They shot Lance with a glare. “Shut up. Coran had to cut six inches off of the pants. How ridiculous is that?”

 

Lance patted the top of Pidge’s head in sympathy, something that he knew they hated. “We can’t all be tall, ya know. Someone’s gotta be short or else who would we tall people make fun of?”

 

Pidge swatted Lance’s hand away with a huff. “You’re the worst.

 

As Pidge said that, Coran arrived on the bridge sporting his own tuxedo, a striking orange used for his own vest and bow tie, matching perfectly with his hair.

 

“Didn’t realize you were goin’ Earth-style tonight, Coran!” Lance called to him.

 

“And miss a chance to experience your culture? Never!” Coran replied as he strode up to his console.

 

“Alright,”Allura said.  “Now that we’re all here, let’s head down. The Kumar are expecting us.” She smiled at the team. “And I want each of you on your best behavior. Have fun but not _too_ much fun.” Lance could’ve sworn her gaze remained on him longer than anyone else. He would’ve taken it personally if he hadn’t been in such a good mood. “Alright, Coran. Take us down.”

 

\-----

 

It only took a few minutes to land the castle on the small planet of Kumarion. They were excruciating long minutes to Keith. In fact, from the moment Lance had arrived on the bridge, looking stupidly perfect in his tuxedo, Keith realized that every minute of the night was going to be excruciatingly long. It took every ounce of will he had to not openly stare at the blue paladin, instead choosing the occasional sidelong glance.

 

It wasn’t like him to be this...distracted, but it wasn’t his fault he was distracted in the first place. What gave Lance the right to look that natural in his tux? Who said it was okay for the dark blue he wore to suit him so well? _Of course_ Keith couldn’t keep his eyes off of him. Who could?

 

When the castle was finally on the ground, Allura led the way to meet their hosts. Keith wasn’t sure what he was expecting the Kumar to look like. Allura had mentioned they were elegant people, but Keith didn’t really know what that meant.

 

When Keith stepped out of the elevator that had brought them to the ground from the castle, Keith understood completely what Allura had meant. The Kumar were humanoid creatures, slightly taller than the average human. They all had thin, lanky bodies, their skin looking so smooth that it almost shined. Keith noticed that most of them were pastel shades of blue, purple, or yellow. They wore embroidered floor length gowns that contrasted whatever skin color they were. Their hair fell in silky waves down their backs, the strands having a metallic gold or silver color to them. Their faces were the most shocking to Keith, however. They were flawless, the symmetry seeming almost unnatural to Keith’s eyes. Their eyes were the same striking colors as their hair and despite the obvious alien-like qualities, Keith had to admit that they were beautiful.

 

“Paladins of Voltron.” The one who Keith presumed was the leader said in greeting, his voice pristine and clear. “We welcome you to Kumarion. We hope you enjoy your stay.”

 

“We thank you for inviting us to such a treasured occasion.” Allura replied in a regal manner. “And we are truly honored to meet your Excellency.” Allura bowed her head in respect.

 

“And we are honored to have you.” The leader replied, bowing his head back. “Please, follow my steward to the ballroom. I will join you shortly.”

 

“Thank you.” Allura said before the leader departed, his entourage following him.

 

“This way, if you please.” The steward said and started leading them towards the large castle they had landed near.

 

“I think I’m in love…” Keith heard Lance say quietly probably to Hunk. Keith resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

 

“The Kumar are a very prideful people.” Coran said softly to Lance, making sure the steward didn’t hear them. “They believe in respect and dignity above all else. So do not, and I repeat, _do not_ try to hit on any of them. You’ll get kicked out of the ball for sure.”

 

Keith heard Lance let out a disheartened sigh. “Fine...I’ll restrain myself.”

 

Keith couldn’t help the small smile that appeared on his face. Maybe tonight wouldn’t be so bad after all.

 

As the small group entered the castle, Keith immediately noticed the ornateness of the place. Large white columns lined the entry hall, swirling golden patterns curling up them and spilling onto the high ceilings. Keith realized this was a castle, but even so he was still completely blown away. He had a feeling that Allura had understated the elegance of this place.

 

The steward led them through the entry hall and towards large white doors that had the same gold patterns as the columns. He stopped right outside the doors and bowed.

 

“I truly hope you enjoy your time here tonight.” He said, before retreating back the way he came.

 

Allura turned to look at the small group before they entered. “Best. Behavior.” Her voice was commanding. The small group nodded back at her in return. She gave them an encouraging smile before turning and pushing the large doors open.

 

Keith was greeted by an enormous room filled to the brim with Kumar, each of them easily as stunning as Allura. The white and gold motif continued into the room, lining the walls and floors in swirling patterns. On the right side of the room sat three tables the length of the room, each filled with stacks of bizarre looking food. Keith had a feeling that was where Hunk was going to be spending most of his night. On the far end of the hall guests stood conversing, holding glasses of strangely colored liquid that was handed out by waiters. On Keith’s left a large orchestra filled with what he figured were instruments, although he saw none that he recognized, played a graceful song that matched the elegance of the rest of the room. In the center of the room was the dance floor which was already packed with Kumar, their dancing smooth and elaborate, perfectly complimenting their culture. Above the dance floor hung the largest crystal chandelier that Keith had ever seen. If that thing fell, everyone on the dance floor would be crushed. Just one of the many reasons to avoid that particular part of the room.

 

“This place is...awesome!” Hunk said, eyeing the tables of food.

 

“Okay, I take it back.” Pidge said, adjusting their glasses. “This isn’t going to be social torture. C’mon, Hunk! Let’s try one of everything.” They started pulling Hunk in the direction of the food.

 

“Way ahead of ya, buddy.” Hunk said, following Pidge.

 

“I better go make sure they don’t eat the whole buffet.” Coran said before trailing after them.

 

“Princess, we should go talk to some of the locals.” Shiro said, nodding in the direction of the conversing Kumar. “Introduce ourselves. Get on their good side.”

 

“Good idea.” She said. “Let’s go.” The two left, circling around the large dance floor.

 

That left only Lance standing next to him.

 

“So…” He heard Lance say from his side. “What do ya want to do?”

 

Keith turned to look at Lance, raising an eyebrow. “What? You’re not gonna go flirt with every available Kumar in this place?”

 

Keith saw a flash of hurt cross his face before it was covered up with fake disappointment. “You heard Allura and Coran. I have to be on my best behavior.” Lance let out a dramatic sigh. “And what better way to do that than by hanging out with the least fun person I know?”

 

_This guy._

 

Keith pushed down the irritation that threatened to burst out of him, deciding that spending the rest of the night with Lance was really not in his best interest. If he wasn’t insulting Keith, he was making Keith’s heart pound against his chest. Neither of those things seemed like they would be much fun to deal with. Keith wanted to spend his last night as a member of team Voltron having a good time, not having to deal with weird feelings.

 

Keith had decided a couple of days ago that he would join the Blade, leaving the black lion to Shiro and the red lion to Lance. It wasn’t necessarily what he wanted to do, but it was the best decision for everyone. Keith had just been looking for a good opportunity to tell the others. When Allura had mentioned the ball, Keith thought it would be a good way to end things with them which was the real reason he was okay with going. At the very least, he got to spend a little more time with Lance...well, the Lance that sang softly in the unused part of the castle, not the Lance that irritated him.

 

“I need a drink.” Keith said, not waiting for a response as he started to make his way to the tables of food. One section of the third table had a collection of champagne glasses with a blue-colored liquid in them. They looked like they would be safe to drink and maybe even slightly alcoholic.

 

“What?!” Lance said in surprise as Keith walked away. He could hear Lance’s footsteps behind them. “Keith, we’re supposed to be on our best behavior. That applies to you too!”

 

Keith didn’t look at Lance as he responded. “What? Afraid we’re gonna get in trouble?”

 

“Uh, duh! Allura is scary when she’s mad.”

 

“She’ll only get mad if she finds out. So make sure she doesn’t find out.”

 

He heard Lance let out a surprised scoff. “But...but it’s illegal! You’re underaged!”

 

Keith reached the table and picked up one of the glasses. He turned to a slightly flustered looking Lance and said. “No it’s not. Space is international waters. Meaning underage drinking laws don’t apply.”

 

“False.” Lance said curtly. “We’re on Kumarion. Meaning their drinking laws apply.”

 

“Okay, then. What _are_ their drinking laws?” Keith asked, a smirk on his face.

 

Lance shot him a glare before turning to the nearest Kumar and saying, “Excuse me, what’s the underage drinking limit?”

 

The Kumar stared at Lance like he had grown a second head. “Sorry, the what?” They asked.

 

“And that settles that.” Keith said triumphantly, downing the drink in his hand.

 

“Well, if you get caught I’m not gonna have your back.” Lance said, crossing his arms in defiance.

 

“Didn’t ask you to.” Keith replied, setting the glass back down on the table. He could feel a warmth start to spread throughout his chest, heating up his face slightly and relaxing his muscles. Yeah, there was definitely something like alcohol in that drink.

 

“Now I’m gonna have to actually spend the entire night with you.”  Lance said, a slight whine to his voice.

 

Keith almost choked on his own spit. “Why?”

 

“Because if I leave you alone and you do something stupid I’ll never hear the end of it.”

 

“It was one drink. I’m not gonna get drunk off of one tiny drink.” Keith said, rolling his eyes.

 

“Yeah, I’m not gonna take that chance. Sorry, buddy, but you’re stuck with me.” Lance said, leaving no room for argument. In actuality, Keith didn’t really mind. He could think of worse ways to spend his night.

 

...That was probably the alcohol talking…

 

“Alright then.” Keith said. “What do you wanna do?”

 

“Hmm…” Lance replied, casting his gaze around the room. “Let’s dance!”

 

“Uh, pass. No thanks.” Keith replied automatically. “I don’t dance.”

 

“But I do. C’mon! It’ll be fun.” Lance said, looking excited.

 

“Lance, I’m not gonna dance with you. Go find another partner.” Keith said, his voice flat. Even if Keith did dance he probably would’ve refused the offer. He was leaving soon and he wanted to make it as painless for everyone as possible. Dancing with Lance would just make him more confused and then things would get even more complicated. No matter how much Lance begged or pleaded, Keith would do everything he could to spare Lance. Even if Lance didn’t feel the same way, it was the least he could do.

 

“Not gonna happen. I have to keep an eye on you, remember?” Lance seemed to contemplate something for a moment before looking over Keith’s shoulder and saying, “Oh, hey guys.”

 

As Keith turned to see who Lance was greeting, he felt a hand firmly grip his left wrist and start to drag him in the direction of the dance floor. “What the hell, Lance?”

 

“Shouldn’t have let your guard down.” Lance replied, looking back at him with a smirk. “Now stop complaining and dance with me.”

 

Maybe if Keith didn’t feel so relaxed he would’ve refused but something inside him told him to just roll with it. Lance wouldn’t stop asking him until he did anyway. Better to just get it over with.

 

Keith pretended to not notice how warm Lance’s hand felt. He pretended that the skin under Lance’s touch didn’t tingle, sending small bursts of energy up his arm. He pretended that his heart didn’t feel like it was about to beat out of his chest. He pretended that everything was normal as Lance pulled him towards the center of the dance floor.

 

\-----

 

Lance had no idea what he was doing. He could hear the warning bells going off in his head telling him that Keith was unhealthy but he ignored them. Something unknown to Lance compelled him to dance with Keith. And if he was being honest with himself, he _really_ wanted to act on those compulsions.

 

So Lance decided to screw being healthy. Screw pushing his feelings to the side. Screw every reason he ever had for keeping his distance from Keith. Tonight, even if only for tonight, Lance was going to allow himself this small sliver of happiness.

 

He dragged Keith to the very center of the dance floor. Around them the Kumar swirled and twirled in graceful patterns, their gowns shifting and swaying around them. Lance could hear the formal sounding music drifting from the orchestra and although he didn’t recognize the piece, he knew that he could dance to it. Even in space it seemed that music was all counted the same, a comforting thought.

 

“Alright.” He said to Keith, extending his hand towards him. “Since I actually know what I’m doing, I’ll lead.”

 

Keith looked at his hand apprehensively, his face slightly flushed.

 

Lance gave him an encouraging smile. “Don’t worry. We’ll take it slow.”

 

That seemed to do the trick, Keith slowly taking Lance’s hand and saying, “Just make sure I don’t look stupid.”

 

“Promise.” Lance replied, guiding Keith’s hand until it was rested on his shoulder, pulling him closer in the process. He then put his own hand on Keith’s waist, causing the shorter of the two to jump slightly. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you.” Lance said, giving Keith an apologetic look.

 

Keith shook his head slightly. “You’re fine. I was just surprised.”

 

Lance didn’t respond, instead taking hold of Keith’s free hand with his own and raising it to the side a small distance away from their bodies. Lance could tell that Keith was nervous, and he would be lying to himself if he thought it didn’t look a little endearing.

 

“Ready?” Lance asked, his voice only loud enough for Keith to hear.

 

“Take it slow?” Keith asked.

 

Lance gave a slight nod. “Of course.”

 

“Then...yeah, I’m ready.”

 

Just like Lance promised, he started them slow, gently moving them side to side and turning ever so slightly. He could feel Keith’s grip on him tighten as they started to move.

 

“Groups of three.” Lance said quietly. “One step back, one step sideways, one step to close.” Keith nodded in response, letting Lance lead him in tight circles around the dance floor. Lance couldn’t help but smile. It wasn’t often that he got to see Keith in a state of vulnerability. He considered it a privilege. Keith wasn’t one to normally trust so blindly.

 

As they turned, Lance could feel Keith relaxing more. His gaze was still focused on his feet though, giving Lance the perfect opportunity to admire the man that was currently clinging to him. The man that had dominated his heart and his mind since the garrison. The man that Lance had tried to stay away from. The man that could only lead him to ruin.

 

None of that seemed to matter as he stared at Keith’s face, his brow scrunched up in concentration. He didn’t know what he had been so worried about over the last few years. Right now, everything seemed simple. It was just him and Keith.

 

As they turned Lance saw a flash of yellow and green on the edge of his vision. He turned his head slightly to see Hunk and Pidge standing near the edge of the dance floor, Hunk shooting him a thumbs up and Pidge smirking at him knowingly. Lance sent a little nod their way before turning his attention back to Keith.

 

Keith’s grip had started to loosen, his confidence building with every step he took. It wasn’t long before he was able to look up from his feet, indigo eyes meeting blue.

 

“See?” Lance said. “Nothin’ to it.”

 

“Where’d you learn to do this?” Keith asked.

 

“My mom.” Lance replied, recalling the many nights his mom had spun him around in their tiny kitchen, trying to tire out the seven-year-old Lance. “She taught all of my siblings.”

 

“You must miss her.” Keith replied softly.

 

Lance gave him a small smile in return. “Everyday. But I’m alright as long as everyone’s here with me.” He saw Keith glance away for a second before locking eyes with Lance again. Lance wasn’t sure what that meant but decided not to dwell on it.

 

As the song came to a close, Lance stopped them but continued to hold onto Keith. Lance could feel the warmth radiating from Keith. He hadn’t realized that they had moved closer together during the duration of their dance. Their faces were close, only inches apart. Lance could feel something grip his insides, the moment he had wanted for so long only seconds away. He could feel Keith’s breath ghost across his face as he leaned down towards him, breathing in his sweet scent and committing it to memory.

 

Lance felt a hand gently push against his chest and saw Keith turn his face away from him. It was like reality snapped back into place in that moment. Lance released Keith, taking a wide step back. What had he been thinking? Had he really just tried to kiss Keith?

 

“Uh...s-sorry…” Lance stuttered, feeling his face grow red.

 

“No.” Keith said, shaking his head. He wore a pained expression on his face. “I want to but…”

 

“But?” Lance asked, his mind racing a mile a minute.

 

“But...I’m leaving. I’m going to join the Blade of Marmora.” Keith replied, his voice strained, a sorrowful undertone to it.

 

Lance felt like someone had just pulled the rug out from underneath him. “W-what? I don’t...I don’t understand. Leaving? You can’t.”

 

“I have to.” Keith said, not meeting Lance’s gaze. “Don’t you see? I can’t stay here. I can’t stay with all of you. It’s not my place anymore.”

 

Every word out of Keith’s mouth felt like a punch to the gut. He wanted to say something... _anything_ to make Keith stay, but it was like his voice was trapped inside him. All he could do was stare at Keith, hoping that this was all just a bad dream.

 

“I’ve made up my mind, Lance. Nothing you say will change it.” Keith said, looking Lance in the eye for the first time since the dance ended.

 

Lance believed him. He was stupid for ever letting himself think that things could work out for them. He _knew_ that nothing good could ever come of falling for Keith. He was a cancer, unstoppable and draining. But he had ignored the warning signs and now he was paying the price.

 

Lance needed to get out, get away. He needed time to process. And the middle of a dance floor on Kumarion was not a good place to do so. Without a word, he turned from Keith and headed straight for the doors they had entered through.

 

“Lance!” He heard Keith call to him but he didn’t stop or even slow down. He couldn’t. It hurt too much.

 

\-----

 

Keith stood motionless in the middle of the dance floor, ignoring the inquiring eyes of the Kumar around him. He knew that he had done the right thing. He only wished that it didn’t have to hurt so much. He saw Lance exit through the large doors, no doubt heading back to the castle.

 

Keith told himself not to follow him. He told himself that it would be better if he just left without seeing Lance again. It would be easier that way for both of them.

 

“Fuck.” Keith said through gritted teeth as he started maneuvering his way through the crowd towards the large doors. He had no idea what he was going to do when he caught up to Lance, but he couldn’t leave things like this. He needed to apologize, explain, or _something_. Keith had a feeling he knew exactly where Lance would be. It was where Lance always was when he was working through something.

 

Keith pushed through the large doors and continued on through the entryway. Once outside, he pushed his legs into a sprint, ripping off the suffocating bow tie in the process and throwing it on the lawn of the castle. He didn’t hesitate to call for the elevator and within moments he was back in their own castle, the familiar halls now seeming cold and distant.

 

Keith wasted no time heading to Lance’s secret spot. As he drew close he could hear a sad melody floating towards him, reverberating off the metal walls of the hall. He arrived at the door, about to push the button to open it, when something stopped him dead in his tracks.

 

Lance had started singing, his voice riddled with pain. It was a song Keith had never heard before, yet he knew exactly who it was about.

 

“ _But I can’t get too close to you, my darling. Can’t get too close. And god help me, if I do you’ll leave me broken hearted. You’ll leave me lonely at best…_ ” Lance’s rich voice penetrated his soul, tearing him apart with each word.

 

Keith felt a tidal wave of emotions rise within him. He had done this to Lance. This was his fault. Nothing Keith could ever say would make up for this.

 

Keith pressed his back against the wall next to the door just like he always did and slid down until he was seated on the floor. He pulled his knees up to his chest, a hopeless feeling settling into him. He rested his forehead on his knees, closing his eyes in an attempt to settle the storm within him.

 

Keith sat in the hall by himself letting Lance’s words flow over him, each note creating a scar that would remain as long as he was still breathing.

 

Keith loved Lance, he really did.

 

But Lance was right.

 

Keith would only ever leave Lance lonely at best.

**Author's Note:**

> If you're thinking that I wrote this because I really wanted to put the team in tuxedos than you would be absolutely right. Don't judge me.  
> But seriously, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it. Any and all feedback you are able and willing to give is greatly appreciated.  
> If you liked my writing, feel free to check out my other works. I've got lots of stuff for you to read.  
> And if you want to scream at me or just enjoy some wholesome Voltron content, you can find me @canyoufeelthelagnsttonight on tumblr.  
> Stay safe and I'll see ya around!
> 
> ~Redjay


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